[Verse] Silent thoughts

Spondylitis
A tryst with pain
Like estranged spouses
meeting again
at a social do

Migraine
The splitting ache
Like forgotten grouses
for argument’s sake,
revived again

Nausea
Uncertain spells
of weighing words
before blurting them out
or holding them in

Fever
Beyond Fahrenheit
Like biased frenzies
and blinded faith
refusing to die down

Death
An end to it all
Like the vacuum
before the vagaries of strife
and the silence later

Vijay © 30th June, 2006

[Poem] Resonance

I wish to write something else
a ballad or even a sonnet would do
and I want it to play on your lips,
long enough for it to stifle you

I wish to find a different muse
A doppelganger to fit the bill
Your ghosts, I shall exorcise
aching memories I shall kill

I wish to dip my pen elsewhere
to write now, with a different ink
Innocent and naïve as it may seem
full of venom to make you stink

I wish to paint your room with blood
You once said, it’s crimson you like
I wish for you then to cringe and cry
Writhe in pain till you feel alike

At last, I wish to dissolve in the winds,
to make you dread that I am around
Each moment, I want you to fear
Even that harmless whisper of a sound

Vijay © 28th June, 2006

[Verse] Infidelity

My hand slides down
your curvaceous contours
and grasps the left-over signs
of fat you felt you had burnt
Parted lips await a ritual
For a moment far, yet so near

Entwined we dance the night away,
your eyes looking for tell tale signs,
mine, in a mood to oblige, but later
Rising heartbeats,
steal once in a while a glance at the clock
for a moment far, yet so near

The marauder who made your life hell
is sleeping somewhere in somebody’s arms
A lost hope I so much nurtured
abandoned its nest, to make a different abode
We wait for night to bloom into its youth
For a moment far, yet so near

Oh! How we yearn,
to live a lifetime in a night.

Vijay © 25th June, 2006

KJ Subz rocks Delhi with Karaoke

KJ is a genius. He makes you forget that you have never sung in your life. The New Delhi gigs are all well attended by friends and I feel so much at home. This is a collage of photographs (courtsey KJ) which have been compiled into a video format. Hope you like this experiment.

[Verse] Shards

Ceremoniously arrives the night
The beast tip-toes into my space
Denuding me with one tug
slithers down my space,
to invade my self
I grope in the dark
for any lost signs of love
Lost was lost, forever. I realize.

Spent, he leaves

An incomplete moment
reeking of alcohol and tobacco
traces left-over shards
of a silhouette dissolving into the dark

Thirst of an unquenched desire
twists and turns on the bed.

Vijay © 16th June, 2006

Let them be

Mask

Strange game

Futile

The building and the vans standing outside were all white. The signboards were all in red. The smell of disinfectants ate into my senses as I walked past the reception of the multi-specialty hospital. Before making my way to the lift, I glanced at the signboards.

INTENSIVE CARE UNIT
5th Floor

I took out a piece of paper and read the details once again. Ward number one, Bed number twelve.

The lift buzzed its way up to the 5th Floor. As soon as the automated doors opened, I stepped onto the floor. The strong smell of disinfectants once again came swarming in one me. A nurse was walking down from across the aisle. She gave me a quizzing smile.

“Which side is Ward one? I have a friend, Akhtar……”

It didn’t take much time for her to remember.

“Oh, the Bed number twelve, walk to the end of the corridor and turn left.”

I thanked her and made my way towards the ward. I wondered how humans become numbers once in a while. In different circumstances different numbers.

The ward came in sight. From behind the large glass partition, I could see bed number twelve situated right in the middle of the room. There he is, on the bed, inert, his body attached to innumerable medical equipments. The hollow silence of the ward was being intermittently breached by the beeps from the machines.
.
Till a few days back, he was a lively young man, smoking, drinking, partying, pulling a fast one or two on his friends, like everyone his age does. Today, on that bed, living on borrowed time, he is merely a smashed heap of human flesh, breathing in spurts. Dead below the waist, with a head that cannot move, I could sense that a mind still alert registered my presence.

As I looked at him, my mind flooded with the past. Those moments, the jokes that he cracked, the hearts that he touched, the canteen group escapades, all came whizzing in, as though filling up the vacuum created by the sight of him.

He could see my eyes going moist. His hand moved, commanding me to sit by his side.
I held his hand and we looked into each others eyes. Seconds, minutes passed. I could not hold my sight, a drop or two found their way out. I could feel the futility of his being.

I wanted so much to leave and run as far as I could from the reality which lay besides me. I stood up and looked at him. He smiled. Did he? Was it merely a mirage created by my mind?
Quickly, I turned my back in order to leave. It is then that I felt a pull on my sleeve. It was his hand. I turned back and looked at him.

He spoke and his words were like a thousand needles being thrust into my body.

“Friend, can you tell them? Do something, please. I want to die!!!”

Vijay © 12th June, 2006


P.S: Re-written from a poem I had penned in February of last year. My recent experiences are making me look into this issue once again.

dasht-e-tanhaai

While few find solace in solitude and loneliness, others despise being left alone.

dasht-e-tanhaai by Faiz Ahmed Faiz is a beautiful creation bringing out the pathos of solitude.

I am posting the original nazm and a translation by AYESHA KALJUVEE. Believe me, one could not have translated the nazm any better.

I have also created a small video using some pictures taken out from the Internet. In the background plays the nazm, so beautifully sung by Iqbal Bano, widely known as the voice of Faiz, since he remained incarcerated under the Military regime. Don’t miss the rendition for your life. Here is the video:

http://vijaynair.buzznet.com/user/video/play/23128/


dasht-e-tanhaai meiN,
ai jaan-e-jahaaN, larzaaN haiN
teri awaaz ke saaye
tere honThoN ke saraab

dasht-e-tanhaai meiN
duuri ke Khas-o-Khaak talei
Khil rahe haiN tere pehluu ke samaN auR gulaab

uTh rahii hai kahiiN quRbat se
teri saaNs ki aaNch
apni Khushbuu meiN sulagtii hui
maddham maddham

duur ufaq paR chamaktii hui
qatra qatra
giR rahii hai terii dildaaR nazaR kii shabnam

iss qadaR pyaaR se hai jaan-e-jahaaN raKhaa hai
dil ke ruKhsaaR pe
iss waqt teri yaad ne haath
yuuN gumaaN hota hai
gaRche hai abhi subah-e-firaaq
Dhal gayaa hijR ka din
aa bhi gayii vasl ki raat

===================================================


In the desert of my solitude, oh love of my life, quiver
the shadows of your voice,
the mirage of your lips

In the desert of my solitude,
beneath the dust and ashes of distance
bloom the jasmines and roses of your proximity

From somewhere very close,
rises the warmth of your breath
smoldering in its own aroma,
slowly, bit by bit.

Far away, across the horizon, glistens
drop by drop
the falling dew of your beguiling glance

With such tenderness, O love of my life,
on the cheek of my heart,
has your memory placed its hand right now
that it looks as if
(though it's still the dawn of adieu)
the sun of separation has set
and the night of union has arrived.

[Trascreation] A different world

Remembrance - Kaifi Azmi